A little known piece of me is I placed my first born up for adoption. The road of healing has been long road and even though I am public about it I wouldn’t say I’ve come to the end of the road. Heart strings are still being pulled because there are still undiscovered pieces to my puzzle.
I want to say, if you are a family member or friend who is hearing this for the first time, welcome to my life. I have told people who I feel need to know, and because this part of my life is still unfolding I don’t bring it up at social hour.
This choice I made half my lifetime ago was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make. In reality, that choice still requires me to make hard choices. One big ball of yarn that when unraveled too fast gets tangled. It isn’t always easy to know how and when to pull on that ball.
I don’t care for most of the consequences of my choice, and then there are parts that I love and cherish. It is easy for anyone to judge my choice. How could you give your child up? How selfish, ungrateful, despicable. Maybe some of that could be true. Maybe it was a choice made out of distress, shame, alienation.
Every one of us has a story. It could be brave, adventurous, charitable, narcissistic, painful, depressing, or monotonous. I share my story because it brings healing for me. I also know there are other people who share the same goals of accepting your self worth. I love my life and even though I don’t love all the pieces I am thankful for what I’ve experienced. And at the same time I have struggled with feeling I deserve a happiness.
I know I am not alone. The consequences along your road may be shared or they may be different, but we are on this journey of life together. We should not be ashamed to share the pieces of our hearts with each other. Don’t feel alone because God gives us hope. Along with our faith we have each other.
All my love!