Here is the thing – I am not a writer. I have a lot to say, and even though my heart is poetic my hand is prosaic.
I write because as I become more confident I am open to sharing my life experiences, thoughts, dreams, fears, and even failures. I see us all connected, and by sharing life experiences together we learn, grow, and are more understanding of others. As individual we each have a rawness about us that we guard – and only to feel vulnerable when we share it even with our closest friends. The rawness which I have protected for over 20 years is why I write. Sharing is scary because people can be mean, and mean can hurt. But, I also have a lot of hope that there are people who can connect with me and see my journey through a similar lens. The versions may be different, but the path of our journey itself shares the same ups and downs. My rawness is something I never wanted to be afraid of or move away from.
I do have fears, but I am mostly content with my journey. The hardest part is my journey is not completed. There are untraveled paths in front of me I must take that seem scary when thinking about those first steps. This journey has never been easy. Like many I have been good at bottling feelings, however, it has never eluded me that I am living a lie. And that makes me sad. It even makes me feel worthless. It should be so easy to make things right, but there are always factors that must be considered, and it is because of those factors I am still face uphills on my journey.
Following me on my journey will be a bit spastic. It’s the life I live these days. Working full time, parenting full time, wifeing full time. Well, wifeing maybe less, because my husband is right there with me seeing the crazy schedules we give ourselves for the sake of our children. If you follow me on my journey I want to be a part of your life like you will be a part of mine. I want to share not only the piece of me that I have protected, but also the pieces of me that I have learned to grow confident from. Pieces of me that have taught me to live to my fullest, love to my fullest, and be confident in who I am. And I want to know your pieces as well. We all have a life full of pieces some pretty, some ugly. Yet, when those diverse pieces are put together they make us who we are. And we are strong. We are brave. And we are on this journey together!
My journey is why I write, but life is worth writing about!